BIG QUEER WEDDING PORTLAND, OR
How would you describe the Big Queer Wedding?
I would describe the Big Queer Wedding as the anecdote to living in our current world. It was a massive community effort centered specifically around queer joy and it took so much collaboration, coordination and support from such a massive group of people. We relied on each other to make this event beautiful and it showed. The couples showed up as their full selves, with their beautiful families and communities, the volunteers showed up full of energy and excitement and everyone was able to bask in the beauty of an event that was so joyful. So many people came up to me throughout the day thanking me for the idea and for coordinating it and I just felt so stumped on a response because I was just as thankful for everyone that was included in making it happen. I hope it inspires more people to put events on like this. We need all the queer joy we can get right now. 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
How did the Big Queer Wedding come to fruition?
I was out to dinner with my friends in early August and we were talking about how afraid we were about Gay Marriage overturning and how exhausting it is to exist in our current world as queer and trans individuals and my friends were talking about how fun my wedding was last year, how everyone felt so happy to be immersed in queer joy that night. My friend Mel made an offhand joke and was like "what if you just did another wedding, but like a mass wedding so people can get married before we lose our rights" and I was like, wait, I should. I went home and posted on the queer cute instagram seeing if folks would be interested in helping, within a couple hours 120 vendors donated their time and resources. I realized pretty quickly I had to make the event happen.
What do you hope couples felt on that day?
I just hope they felt safe and supported and just as happy as I felt on my own wedding day a year ago. I hope they felt what we felt as volunteers, immense pride in this community and themselves.
why do you feel that this event specifically was important and how to do hope it makes a larger impact?
It was specifically important because it represented that at a time where our own administration is making threats to go to "war" with Portland, our community showed up and created something so beautiful and so special. We live in a world that thrives on White Supremacist and Capitalist values, like individualism and perfectionism. The Big Queer Wedding threatened those values directly, we were all just winging it, together. We charged the couple a $30 flat fee to ensure we could donate proceeds to Trans Individuals fleeing red states and we donated every single thing that day, from food, to the venue, to flowers to the couples and their families. I hope this event and Queer Cute on a whole influences people to start their advocacy journey, who don't know how to engage in the revolution to invest in their passions. Queer Cute was a passion project for me, I didn't think it would turn into anything big, I wanted to be in community with my peers, and now we've raised thousands of dollars for key issues and built a gorgeous community beyond my wildest dreams. I get to host silly and fun events every month and people actually want to show up? The revolution is going to be centered around joy -- I want people to find their joy and invest in it. The time is now.
How do you hope to see the world differently in your lifetime?
It is so hard to not feel pessimistic about the future that I am challenging myself to envision hope right now -- but I really do hope to see a Free Palestine, a world where no human is illegal on stolen land, and a world where I never have to read another headline about a child getting shot, or another headline about another right taken away from Trans Individuals. I want a world where empathy is the norm, where we can eradicate systems that thrive on systemic racism and we can have a future. I want that so badly. I hope I'm doing what I can to help make any of those ideals a reality.
- CHARLIE [Founder of @QUEERCUTEPDX]
“We both believe that queer and trans joy is one of the most powerful forms of resistance."
“We were the first couple to get married that day, so we walked into the flower farm only to be met by dozens of cheerfully smiling volunteers, gathered around, ready to help us make our day special! It was surreal and helped us feel held with care from our queer community. Leo's favorite moment was walking down the "flower farm aisle"- they could see all the photographers stationed like garden gnomes, our love song was playing, and it was the first time we saw all our chosen family ready and together in the greenhouse. It was one of the most magical moments we've had together. Ivi's favorite moment was right after our ceremony, when we were still both floating in shock and joy, surrounded by our chosen family at the cake table. There was a moment when we were hugging and both looked up to see the next couple walking towards us after their ceremony, and they were absolutely WEEPING. It was so surreal and beautiful and heart-expanding to feel so wrapped up in our biggest & lovey-doviest feelings, and see another couple experiencing their own version of that at the same time.”
- Leo + Ivi
“The BIG QUEER wedding felt like a giant love fest dedicated to uplifting queer joy.”
We want to live in a world where trans kids and adults feel not just "safe," but celebrated and held by the communities they live in. We want queer to be the norm.
“The moment I saw Julia, everything went quiet…
That was the moment where it really hit me that I was marrying my favorite person, the most beautiful person in my life.”
“Julia and I have been together for almost 8 years, and we were engaged for 3+ years. It was beginning to feel impossible for the "right" moment to come along for us to start wedding planning. As things were getting worse, multiple family members asked when we'd be getting married. They were worried about our safety and stability, and rightfully so. We'd reached the point where even a courthouse wedding would suffice, even if it wasn't the magical wedding we'd envisioned years ago.
Just a few days before I was having gender-affirming surgery, we decided to take the leap and join the Big Queer Wedding. It felt like the cards fell into place...suddenly the chance to get married in a way that felt authentic to us appeared on a golden platter. We wouldn't have had pure joy without this opportunity. I wouldn't have gotten to share my truest vows, wearing what I've always wanted at the altar, watching the love of my life walk through that doorway in the most magical, fantastical, perfect dress of all time. Now, more than ever, queer joy matters most. And so we're pursuing our joy in spite of it all. Having such an incredible rally of community and family around us, made it all possible. It is truly my happiest day ever.
The moment I saw Julia, everything went quiet. I wanted to cry, scream, get on my knees and bark--you name it lol. That was the moment where it really hit me that I was marrying my favorite person, the most beautiful person in my life. I've been reliving it over and over again, and smiling like a goofball every time!”
- JENDAYI + Julia
How would you describe your experience at the Big Queer Wedding?
This was truly one of the most magical & special days I've ever witnessed. Everything was so beautiful, raw, and honest. It was an embodiment of how I hope the world in general will move towards: many hands coming together out of LOVE to make a big difference in people's lives.
Is there a scene from the day that sticks out that tugged at your heart strings?
I had the honor of designing bouquets, boutonnieres, and/or corsages for each person getting married. All of the flowers were donated from local growers and fellow floral designers, and, because of that, I wasn't able to take specific requests regarding flower types, colors, etc,; so, I made each one unique, and designed differently from one another. Throughout the day, I allowed each person to select the bouquet, bout, or corsage that resonated most with them before walking down the aisle.
The second wedding of the day was Chloe & D'Von - a couple with a BEAUTIFULLY grounded energy who traveled all the way from Texas to participate in this special day. While Chloe was getting the finishing touches from our fabulous hair and makeup team, I went over to introduce myself, and share the instructions to come find me when she was ready to select her bouquet. Without skipping a beat, D'Von, looked at their sweet partner, over to me, and excitedly asked, "...can I pick it out for you?" Chloe agreed without any hesitation. This moment was a raw display of how deeply they trust one another, and understood what was needed for their partner to be beaming with happiness. I'm not sure it really needs to be said...but...D'Von picked out THE perfect bouquet that was seemingly made for Chloe.
What do you hope LGBTQ+ couples felt on that day?
I hope they felt deeply supported, and able to relax and be at ease with the present moment. It is overwhelmingly easy to be caught up in how disgustingly horrific this current timeline can feel, and it is so, so important to have a truly safe, love-filled, JOYFULLY welcoming space to release and move forward.
Given the current state of our country, why was this event specifically important for you to be involved in?
My personal queerness is rooted in advocating for autonomy, community, and fighting for equity for all oppressed people. There is nothing we can't accomplish without one another; and, participating in the planning and execution of this day was a direct way to benefit many, many lives. I am a HUGE believer in the need for a balance between centering joy, and showing up for the challenging, and ugly part of the fight. The Big, Queer Wedding embodied both sides of that fight, and left 12 Queer couples with a deeper level of security for themselves, their love, and their families.
How do you hope to see the world differently in your lifetime?
I hope to see capitalism burn. I hope to see a care-centered unification of everyday people. I hope to see a free Palestine, and the complete dissolvement of all authoritarian, colonialist, police states. I hope to personally always remain open to fluidity, newness, and re-learning over, and over, and over again. I hope to see a gentle ease be readily available for all Black, Brown, Indigenous, Trans, and Queer Family. I hope to see grounded communication be centered in all interpersonal connections. I hope to see lushness and care return to our Earth.
- EMMA [Florals] 🌻
Despite it being a warm summer day on the Sunblossom flower farm in Portland…it’s safe to say I walked around the entire time with chills. As a Queer wedding photographer, I never want to take one second of what I do for granted. To get to witness countless moments of back to back queer love and support from our community really reminded me just how important it is to share our collective stories. Thankful to Charlie for having me there and for each & every couple who trusted us with their love stories. Enjoy my view from the day. 🖤
☑️ VENDOR & VOLUNTEER LIST AT THE BOTTOM.
VIEW MORE OF MY FILM WORK ON PATREON. 🖤
Vendor info:
Venue: @sunblossomfarms
Planning: @queercutepdx
Photography: @princessraya @together.theory @kiley.stephens.photography @allyayourish @betholson @olivia.natalya @servediophoto @imsteph
Videography: @rebeccalynnfilms @yz_visuals
Florals: @emjaeb
Ceremony Backdrop: @dandygal.art
Audio/coordination: @metzeventspdx
Cakes: @littlebananabakery
Food: @fatesbreadandbottle @hunnybeezpdx
Bartending: @peaches.honeybartending
Officiants: @bus20ceramics @papa_sarahina @robynthegeek @lazarus_justice @bananahjuice
Hair/makeup: @jaymanstyles @shelbyvalaermua @magnoliamoonstudiopdx @princessghosty
Reception: @whiteowlsocialclub @pdxmobilemusic444 @thecascademermaid @djmalapdx
Volunteers:
Annie @rivenwood_meadows (Bed & Breakfast and events)
Kylie Davis @moodymullet - emotional support and charcuterie set up
Kevin - Charcuterie set up!
Chess Sherman
Giselle Peña @heather.giselle
Jessica Riano @jessica244
Randy Jory
Mia: @latinx.goddexx
Alex Forsyth @halloumi.kebab
Binita Patel: @binitaapplebomb